What makes an NPC character in a video game a troll? They could be like the dog in Duck Hunt who points and laughs at you as you fail to shoot down 2D mallards; they could be like the dastardly Patches in FromSoft games, always scheming against you then grovelling when you foil his plans; or they can be like Toad in the Super Mario Bros. games.
Getting to a castle in any of the Mario Bros. games always felt like a great accomplishment, because of the number of levels you had to beat to get to their gates. Then there’s the castle itself: you dodged numerous fireballs, duck and leap over spikes, and send various iterations of Bowser to an early grave. You walk down a long hallway, expecting to meet the Princess (or atleastone of her handmaids), and what do you get? A tiny mushroom-being - who appears to be flipping you the double bird - telling you that the princess is in another castle. He doesn’t offerany powerups or money for your troubles either, just a ‘thank you,’ and sends you on your merry way.
You did all that work in hopes of saving the princess and securing a kiss or a ginormous cake, but nope, there’s justthisguy, time and time again. All that work, all that time spent practicing your jumps and fireball technique for nothing - Look closely enough at the image below Mario, and you can just glimpse a scornful grimace across Mario’s weary 8-bit face.
Toad’s trolling evolves over various sequels. In Super Mario Bros. 3, he masks his trolling in the form of various gifts. In item stages, Toad says “Pick a box. Its contents will help you on your way”. This may sound like he’s offering you a friendly free power-up, but when you look at the words closely he’s actually mocking you.
What he’s really saying is ‘You do not possess the power or the ability to get through these worlds without help, so how about having playing my little game?’ He doesn’t give you a hint as to which chest holds the best power-up; he just stands atop his ledge and looks down at you as you blindly pick a box. He locks away extra lives by forcing you to play a moving puzzle game, he screams at you about how a land’s king has been transformed into a spider, and he bosses you around.
Toad becomes second-in-command whenever the princess goes missing. Instead of marching his way to Bowser’s castle and taking down his airships, he makes you do it. He is the co-worker who doesn’t want to do any of the work, and instead gets you to do it for him. Super Mario Bros. 2 - anomalous game though it is - proves that Toad can handle himself out in the field of battle, so why can’t he help save the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser?
Both Toad and Troll start with the letter ‘T’. Coincidence? Hmmm, ok probably, but still,Damn you, Toad!
